Donald Trump has always had this weird obsession with this size of his… Body parts. He can’t seem to bear the idea of anyone in the world being taller than him, hence the shoe lifts that are noticeable on his feet in nearly every picture that features the man from the waist down. He’s constantly, and always very publicly, peddling the claim that he’s the fittest, most in-shape spring chicken there ever was, despite the fact that his chicken sprung about 50 some-odd years back now. He’s sickeningly, vainly obsessed with that putrid cotton candy puff he calls hair on top of his head. And he’s got a constant neon spray tan glow that every bro-dude from here to SoCal wishes they could replicate.
But y’all… Those hands.
I don’t know that anyone has ever quite nailed down a reason for Trump’s obsession with the size of his mitts, though I’m leaning towards the hypothesis that bigger hands are all the better for groping in his Adderall fried noggin. But nevertheless, the obsession is there. And it doesn’t seem to be going away any time soon.
Hell, just take a look at this clip from 2016 from ABC News, when Donald and then-candidate Marco Rubio got into a really long, really weird series of spats over the size of Trump’s hands:
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In one of those snippets, Trump even took the opportunity to draw a correlation between the size of his hands and a different body part that I refuse to mention or even think of for the rest of my life. Ever. Stating, “Look at those hands. Are they small hands? And he referred to my hands — if they’re small, something else must be small. I guarantee you there’s no problem, I guarantee.”
Eww.
So with all that being said, it’s even funnier now that all of Trump’s claims about his big, meaty, manly man hands have been proven by science to be yet another big, steamy crock of shit.
The Hollywood Reporter managed to get their hands (HA! Punny, right?) on a verified copy of Donnie’s handprint that was cast from his very own mitts when sculptors were working on his wax figure at Madame Tussauds.
While the wax sculpture itself hasn’t been in the New York City wax museum since 2011, the bronze cast of Trump’s handprint has a home right in front of Madame Tussauds in Time Square — and it’s really not all he makes it out to be. Not even close.
All in all, from Donald’s wrist to the tip of his middle finger, Trump’s hand measures a measly 7.25 inches. According to several scientific studies, that falls well below the mark of the average hand size for a 6-foot 3-inch man — landing Twitler in the 25th percentile for men in the military according to a 1980 study, below the 50th percentile according to a Georgia Tech Research Institute study, and the 15th percentile according to a 1988 Anthropomorphic Survey of U.S. Personnel.
It’s official: Trump has tinier hands than 85% of men. pic.twitter.com/FV6m95KH2W
— Justin Kiggins (@neuromusic) August 3, 2016
Long story short, no matter which way you slice, Donnie has wee little hands.
Featured image via screen capture
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