Trump The Grinch Ruins Christmas For An Unsuspecting 7-Year-Old, Questions Whether Santa Exists

It will be a Christmas miracle if I don't get a stress ulcer from this guy.


586
586 points

Donald Trump proved once again on Christmas Eve that he is truly a grinch in a human suit when he and his wife, who is also a near-perfect replica of a humanoid, took calls from small children who called the NORAD Santa Tracker and were directed to the White House to find out where the jolly old elf was on his journey to a chimney near them.

Melania had a relatively benign conversation in the AP-reported call she took, telling one caller that Saint Nick was in the Sahara, then moments later, in Morocco — as close to something intelligent said by Mrs. Trump as we have recorded on this website — but that he would be at their home before morning.

Donald, however, still obviously struggling with human contact outside of barking orders at underlings, told one unfortunate 7-year-old boy named Coleman that he was basically stupid if he still believed in Santa at age seven.

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Are you still a believer in Santa? Because at 7, it’s marginal, right? Well, you just enjoy yourself.”

Dear readers, I wish that I could tell you this was a Christmas prank, and that in no way, shape, or form did the President of the United States actually ruin some random little boy’s Christmas by floating the idea that Santa isn’t real — or talking to him like he was in a boardroom — but it is unfortunately at this point that I am forced to show you the video footage of Donald Trump saying exactly that:

Clearly not content with ruining Christmas for the 800,000 workers adversely affected by his heartless government shutdown, Donald even found a way to wreck it for a pajama-clad young boy in Anytown, USA who was availing himself of one of the few government services still functioning during the manbaby tantrum Trump has been throwing for days now.

This is too sad to think about, and yet too important a character flaw not to document in the news. It’s like finding out the President doesn’t even like dogs.

I mean, even the Grinch has a dog.

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