During Sworn Deposition, Donald Trump Reportedly Expressed His Fear Of Losing His Life From A Piece Of Fruit Being Thrown At Him And We Couldn’t Make This Up If We Tried: “It’s Dangerous Stuff”

We could not make this up if we wanted to!


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Now ex-President Donald Trump has said a whole lot of crazy, unhinged, and off-the-wall things over the years since he sort of took over the political scene back in 2015. But this… This might truly take the cake, once and for all.

A recent report from Vanity Fair has left us clutching our sides in howling laughter at the former guy’s expense, after the publication revealed that, during a sworn deposition Donald Trump sat for last October, the former President of the United States openly expressed his fear being killed by a piece of fruit.

I swear on everything that is good and holy in this world, I am not making this up.

Transcripts of this apparently wild deposition were filed in court and obtained by the Daily Beast recently, and it seems Donald Trump is truly concerned about the prospect of tomatoes, pineapples, and bananas being used as dangerous weapons against him and even went so far as to try to argue that should someone show up at one of his rallies and try to throw one of this life-threatening fruits at him, it would be grounds from assaulting them.

The deposition was reportedly in connection to a 2015 lawsuit lodged against him by a group of activists who accused Trump Organization’s chief of security, Keith Schiller, of hitting them in the head during a protest outside of the now ex-president’s family company’s Manhattan headquarters. Donald Trump was not personally present at the demonstration or for the alleged assault, but attorneys for the plaintiff wanted to question him anyway, to determine whether or not the man that would go on to be president was responsible for the conduct of his employees.

That notion led to the attorney asking Trump about a 2016 presidential campaign rally, during which the real estate “mogul” told his crowd, “If you see someone getting ready to throw a tomato, just knock the crap out of them, would you?” When asked why he would tell his supporters such a thing, Trump claimed he had been warned earlier in the night that someone at the event was “going to throw fruit,” and it made him nervous.

“You get hit with fruit, it’s—no, it’s very violent stuff. We were on alert for that,” Trump reportedly claimed in the deposition. “It’s worse than tomato, it’s other things also. But tomato, when they start doing that stuff, it’s very dangerous. There was an alert out that day.”

He goes on to add, “I wanted to have people be ready because we were put on alert that they were going to do fruit.”

And boy, did the fruit thing just get worse from there.

“Some fruit is a lot worse…tomatoes are bad, by the way,” he went on to further rant. “But it’s very dangerous. No, I wanted them to watch. They were on alert. I remember that specific event because everybody was on alert. They were going to hit, they were going to hit hard.”

The attorney pressed Trump on his promise to rallygoers that he would cover the legal fees of anyone who “knock[ed] the crap out of” a protester armed with dangerous fruits, which only caused the ex-president to double down even harder on his claim that he faced a “serious threat.”

“Is it your expectation that if your security guards see someone about to throw a tomato that they should knock the crap out of them?” the lawyer asked. Trump not only answered yes but clarified that it’s not just tomatoes that deserve an ass-beating. “A tomato, a pineapple, a lot of other things they throw,” Donald said. “Yeah, if the security saw that, I would say you have to—and it’s not just me, it’s other people in the audience get badly hurt—yeah, I think that they have to be aggressive in stopping that from happening. Because if that happens, you can be killed if that happens.”

When pressed a little further on whether someone chucking a tomato at his genuinely justified “the use of physical force” the ex-president just ended up adding yet another fruit to the list of dangerous weapons he’s apparently terrified of. “To stop somebody from throwing pineapples, tomatoes, bananas, stuff like that, yeah. It’s dangerous stuff.”

As we’re all painfully well aware, Donald Trump has a long-standing history of inciting violence pretty much every chance he gets — the Capitol insurrection alone was proof enough of that. And that’s not even counting all the times he’s urged his rallygoers to “knock the crap out of” protesters, encouraged police officers to bang the heads of suspects they’re putting in their cars, stated “I’d like to punch him in the face” about a protester at one of his events, regularly endorsed the notion of assaulting the press, and even openly fantasized about “Second Amendment people” preventing the appointment of Liberal judges to the Supreme Court.

But yes, tell us all about the bananas, Donnie.

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