Donald Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner and Satan’s snot rag Stephen Miller got together to write the president’s short address to the nation last night on the coronavirus pandemic that has swept the globe. We assume that Archie Bunker wasn’t available, so Kushner and Miller stepped up to the plate. Trump, who has tied his economy to the stock market, looked visibly unnerved as he attempted to calm investors’ concerns.
Instead, the Stable Genius, who seems unaware that words mean things, sent Dow futures into an apocalyptic abyss. Trump had to quickly walk back remarks he made during his address that threw the markets into disarray.
Trump an hour before this tweet was posted: “These prohibitions will not only apply to the tremendous amount of trade and cargo but various other things as we get approval. Anything coming from Europe to the United States is what we are discussing.” #incoherent https://t.co/6LNAORTkr6
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) March 12, 2020
Former Treasury Secretary Lawrence Summers took to Twitter to say that Trump has more harm to retirement savings than any President in history in record time.
.@POTUS sets what I believe is a new world record for presidential market value destruction.
— Lawrence H. Summers (@LHSummers) March 12, 2020
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He destroys about $500b in equity market value in course of an 11 minute speech.
Destruction roughly doubles as investors take an hour to analyze the speech.
— Lawrence H. Summers (@LHSummers) March 12, 2020
Loose lips sink ships. Imprudent rhetoric sinks markets.
— Lawrence H. Summers (@LHSummers) March 12, 2020
Then this happened on Thursday morning.
BREAKING: Trading was just halted as Dow dropped almost 1,700 points this morning. A lot of this has to do with the fact Trump gave no real plan last night, and no one believed what he was saying. Trump is a complete failure who should be in prison, not the White House. Pathetic.
— Scott Dworkin (@funder) March 12, 2020
Stock market opens down 1,600 points.
Hits circuit breaker halting trading for only the second time in the past 23 years in only five minutes.
Trump’s speech last night was gasoline on a fire.
— The Hoarse Whisperer (@HoarseWisperer) March 12, 2020
Trading should resume shortly, according to the Associated Press, but an early plunge of 7 percent on Wall Street triggered a trading halt as a sell-off slamming global markets continued. The Dow Jones industrial average dropped more than 1,600 points.
By the way, Trumpers, how’s y’alls 401ks doing? We’re just asking since you guys like to brag about it so much to prop up your president. We are not happy about this, but it was predictable a long time ago.
Featured image via screen capture
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